Uggggg

Today is not a good day. anything that can go wrong is i am tired and so close to a breakdown it scares me. My kids my ex my life are all going to hell in  hand basket i so wish i had my mom I miss her so much since she left this world. She was my main support person and now i have no one. lonliness is common in my life now and it hard i wish for peace and serenity and will try another day

:)

Well here we are Jan 2 2013... I am so bored i am burning movies to watch. What a long boring process this is, sigh. But we made it thru New Years eve with no injuries except for two my 15 year old Daughter got into her first real fight, now I don't condone fighting at all but she kicked butt :) And my ex father inlaw slipped and broke his hip.

I was in a relationship with the father of my children for 18 years before i found the courage to leave him. He was a masterpiece good looks and to everyones knowledge he was the sweetest guy around.... well lets just say the world is different behind closed doors. I was abused mentally, physically and sexually it was hard but i loved him. Funny thing is i still do and i am not to sure why but i am strong enough now to stay away. He was so controlling and unfaithful, My daughter asked me when she was 11 why i didn't leave him and to this day all my kids DO NOT want us back together.

My Mom , sweetest woman ever, passed away just before i found my strength to leave him and then my store i owned went bankrupt. So needless to say my blogs will be about strength, adversity and how to survive depression and suicide and i will throw in bits of my everyday life now as well. I don't know if anyone will read these doesn't really matter as its a healing process for me and i hope maybe if someone does come across this then maybe my experiences can help them thru there troubles. signing off for today, Namaste.
Shannen

hello

Well here it is 2013 all is peaceful , well at least in my house so far. I have decided that the new year is the year for me to blog my insane existence. I am a single Mother of three my oldest boy is 20 ( still lives at home) and my daughter is 15 and then my youngest he is 14. This does not include  the multitude of kids i have adopted ( my children's friends) to them i am only know as Mom and some-days i feel like they love me more than my own children... I know it is not true but it feels that way :)

So a little about me, my passions are my kids my critters and photography and nature. Religious no but spiritual yes, I curse to much and speak my mind to the point of pissing some people off. I don't intentionally try to but it does happens. I have been needing a form of release lately and I hope this is it, simple yet effective :)

So here's to 2013 and an awesome year ahead, Shannen... <3